choked up

[randy]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
 Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,  begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes
apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman
shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt
cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out
of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
 His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

[Tink]

In a town in the midwest where the circus was performing an elliphant got loose and went missing. The local police station got a franic call from an elderly lady with bad eyesight. She said there was a strange huge animal in her garden pulling up her cabbage plants with it's tail  The officer asked what the strange huge animal was doing with the cabbages and the lady said 'you don't want to know'.